Realtionship Counselling

Relationship troubles usually bubble away and slowly the cracks begin to be too big to ignore
Usually both partners are aware that the relationship is faltering but fear and uncertainly of what to do or where to go for advice can add further stress the situation
When a couple finally finds their way to my practice the tension and fear is real.
The fear of what is actually going to be involved and the tension is from hoping that their partner will commit to helping the relationship

Couples therapy relies upon both parties wanting to work on the relationship and there will be joint sessions and well as individual sessions

Over the years I have seen that there are 6 main reasons
why couples come to see me for counselling

Trust Issues

This is often the  big one that I see and trust can be broken in different ways including infidelity. Or it could be a series of lies that one partner is constantly getting caught out with and finally the line in the sand is drawn and there are no more excuses for the deception.
A relationship can definitely be saved after a breach of trust but it does take work from both sides.

Constant arguments

A simple question can turn into world war 3. When this is happening on a regular basis the situation at home becomes tense and when there are children witnessing the constant arguments it becomes an unhealthy environment not only for them but for you as well.
Sometimes the situation can be pinpointed to outside stressors like a huge deadline to meet at work or a patch of rough financial times. Once this eases the relationship should go back to normal If there isn't an obvious reason for the fighting there is an underlying reason that needs to be addressed and before the relationship heads into serous trouble

Something Is Wrong

You know that something is up with your partner. You barely talk anymore and you can see that your partner is undergoing a change and the dynamics have changed. You feel like you are living with a stranger and no longer feel comfortable around them. Or you may start feeling angry and resentful towards them and you are not even sure why you do.
Relationship counselling can help both of you start communicating again. The right conversations can lead to a whole new discovery about the person you thought you knew and set you back on the path of being a connected couple

Grief and Trauma

You often hear of a couple divorcing after a tragedy, an illness or a crisis. You wonder how could that happen when that is the time a couple should come together. Unfortunately when you are dealing with something so overwhelming, you often overlook the other people around you and your partner is left feeling isolated and alone. When dealing with something so terrible it is important that you undertake counselling to help with the grief and to ensure that you can both weather the storm with each other and not have to do this alone.

Undervalued

Your relationship feels one sided.
You are doing all of the heavy lifting while your partner gets to choose their activities or options
The routine is never ending and you feel stuck with no end in sight of having the time together that you once shared. Often this situation gradually happens as one partner takes on more and more responsibilities. Together with a new insights and new communication skills the relationship can be adjusted to a better balance.

Lack of Intimacy

The spark has gone - And this can be from the little gestures that use to make you feel loved and special right down to physical intimacy where one partner has shut the shop and the other partner is still wanting the physical connection. This can either have the couple drift apart and one may end up finding the missing intimacy elsewhere or it may cause a lot of pressure, guilt and arguments where one partner is constantly trying to coerce the other to engage with them to meet their own needs. Both parties need to want to save this. With patience and a new way of communication the spark can come back into a relationship and bring a whole new dynamic.